A Smiling Face In A Broken Society

by Jeremy Tolin

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Jeremy Tolin Florence, South Carolina

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Track Name: 500 Miles From Happiness
She said have you been doing ok
I said no, not today
Well I’m five hundred miles from happiness
But the gas makes it hard not to stay
She said I’ve heard you’ve felt a lot of pain
And you feel like you’ve got nothing left to gain
And everything you pride yourself in is slipping away

I said I’ve already been to hell
And the devil stole my soul
And he auctioned it off for sale
But I’ve never felt the pain
Not with cocaine running through my vains

And ain’t it a shame, Ain’t it a shame
How nothing ever changes for the better
For the better, for me
And ain’t it a shame, Ain’t it a shame
How nothing ever changes for the better
For the better, for me

She said maybe your too negative
I said maybe girl your just dumb
Cause you ain’t never fell far enough down
To know where I’m picking myself up from
Maybe I’m crazy maybe insane maybe over the edge
But I’m only twenty and I’m too young
Too have already done all this shit

And ain’t it a shame, Ain’t it a shame
How nothing ever changes for the better
For the better, for me
And ain’t it a shame, Ain’t it a shame
How nothing ever changes for the better
For the better, for me
Track Name: Bad Habits
She said you seem messed up all the time
And you seem, like you’ve lost your mind
And you just don’t seem the same anymore
She said you walk around with big red eyes
You look like the devil in the sky
And your choices don’t seem very wise
Why do you make’em

And I said well I drink because I like it
And I smoke because I want to
And I bet you didn’t know every night I get geeked up till five
I take the pills to make happy, when I’m feeling sad
And I do it all at once, when I’m feeling bad
And all she could say…was me to babe

They say when I die the good Lord’s gonna take my soul away
But its strange and odd how nothing ever happens when I pray
Whats the point in the Savior when I use chemicals anyway
But you can still find me in the Church leading praise songs every Sunday

And I said well I drink because I like it
And I smoke because I want to
And I bet you didn’t know every night I get geeked up till five
I take the pills to make happy, when I’m feeling sad
And I do it all at once, when I’m feeling bad
And all she could say…was me to babe
Me to babe
Track Name: Drives My Nerves To Hell
Well I sit in an empty room as my vision it starts to blur
They tell me to smile and be happy but the thought just seems absurd
And it seems like I find a problem with every page I turn
And I’ve lost the fear that when I die, there’s a chance that I might burn

But I know a girl who knows how to cast a charming spell
And as much as I would like to love her well well she drives my nerves to hell
And I was raised in the Church once the house of God now It’s the house for the insane
She slept with seven guys she’s a whore and my daddy says she’ll never be saved

My family and so-called religious friends you know we all just act the same
Baptized under the Holy water, but nobody changed
And it’s a sad sad world when the wicked and the good
Well we all just dress the same
And everybody tells me this path that I’ve chosen, well ain’t it such a shame

I know a girl who knows how to cast a charming spell
And as much as I would like to love her well well she drives my nerves to hell
And I was raised in the Church once the house of God now It’s the house for the insane
She slept with seven guys she’s a whore and my daddy says she’ll never be saved
Track Name: Red Wine Repose
Do you recall, the time you took that fall
Drinking that red wine
And every time somebody asked
I’d make sure they knew
They knew that you were mine
When you grow old and your hair turns grey
Will you remember me, will I fade away
Well I hope we’re still together then
Walking in the streets going out to eat and they turn and say
Don’t they look so sweet
That’s how I want to be

And even if I get Alzheimer’s
There’s one thing I won’t forget
I won’t forget how much I love you
That’s one thing I can do

Do you recall the time I drove all night
Just to see your face
And I’d do it all again
Except for the fact
You’re a thousand miles
From the places that I’ve been

When you grow old and your hair turns grey
Will you remember me, will I fade away
Well I hope we’re still together then
Walking in the streets going out to eat and they turn and say
Don’t they look so sweet
That’s how I want to be

And even if I get Alzheimer’s
There’s one thing I won’t forget
I won’t forget how much I love you
That’s one thing I can do
I’ll always love you…
Track Name: How I Want To Be Remembered
Where the ocean meets the sand
And the world looks so grand
And I tell you how I want to be
In a famous rock and roll band
I wanna be like the Rolling Stones
I wanna be like Jim Morrison
I wanna be like The Beatles, McCartney Lennon
Writing those pop songs for a living
Make the people smile
Keep them happy for a little while
And the listen like poetry
Flowing through my lips and they say I’m a genius
That’s how I want to be remembered yeah
How I want to be
How I want to be remembered yeah

I had a dream I was standing on a stage
With the lights shining bright in my eyes
And the crowd sang along to the words
Along to the words of my songs all night
And that’s the way I want to be
The way I want to be someday

And I wanna be like the Rolling Stones
I wanna be like Jim Morrison
I wanna be like The Beatles, McCartney Lennon
Writing those pop songs for a living
Make the people smile
Keep them happy for a little while
And they listen like poetry
Flowing through my lips and they say I’m a genius
That’s how I want to be remembered yeah
How I want to be
How I want to be remembered yeah
Track Name: I Give Up
I just took the bullets out of my forty-five
I’m taking this bottle and having myself a nice long drive
Behind these smile I got a whole lot of pain to hide
Your body’s stolen everything and you damn sure stole my pride

And I would fall, but I’ve already fallen
And I would call, but you won’t pick up
I’m still in love, but I’ve convinced myself
It’s about time I give up

I gave everything I had, everything I gave to you
Its not like I’m a rich man, like I had a whole lot of money to lose
And I guess, I guess, I guess I just gave my heart to you
And I guess I’m not what you expected not what Mom and Daddy wanted for you

And I would fall, but I’ve already fallen
And I would call, but you won’t pick up
I’m still in love, but I’ve convinced myself
It’s about time I give up

And I would fall, but I’ve already fallen
And I would call, but you won’t pick up
I’m still in love, but I’ve convinced myself
It’s about time I give up
Track Name: Koolaid Johnson
Koolaid Johnson was a hardworking man
Making his money about the best damn way he can
He never pointed fingers or started naming names
He found failure well yeah he’s the only one to blame
Cause that’s Koolaid Johnson
That’s Koolaid Johnson

And every night around midnight
He’d jump on stage and play his harmonica loud
He’d sing songs and man would he sing proud
That’s about the only thing he knew how to do
Cause that’s Koolaid Johnson
That’s Koolaid Johnson

Koolaid Johnson was a friend of a friend
He’d have your back right down through the thick and thin
When everyone turned away well he’d be there till the end
He was a friend of a friend
And that’s Koolaid Johnson
Yeah that’s Koolaid Johnson

And every night around midnight
He’d jump on stage and play his harmonica loud
He’d sing songs and man would he sing proud
That’s about the only thing he knew how to do
Cause that’s Koolaid Johnson
That’s Koolaid Johnson
Track Name: Success Finds You
If I had a dollar for every time I sinned
I guess it would be like winning
The lottery, time and time again
I’ve stumbled on some roadblocks
In my short time on earth
I’ve hurt a lot of people
Fell in some holes and climbed my way out
Sometimes that’s what you’ve got to do
You can’t always find success
Sometimes it finds you
You better believe what I’m saying
Cause I know its true

Lately people been saying
“Hey your pretty good”
Why aren’t you on the radio
I said I would be if I could
But with the terrible music they play these days
Well I just might be too good
Some people use guitars
As an excuse to get laid
Well I’m just trying to use mine as a reason to get paid
And don’t you know, man that’d be great
You can’t always find success
Sometimes it finds you
You better believe what I’m saying
Cause I know its true
Track Name: Reputation
They said you could lose your mind but it’s too late
And you’ve been walking through this life like your blind
It’s a sad sad world when all you see, are seas of red
And your alive but you feel dead, you feel dead
(verse one)

And I sit in a circle with all of my friends
On a night that seems it will never end
And we hang our heads in shame at the things we did
And the things we put ourselves through
They say a reputation is a hard thing to break
Yeah the hell it is and I sure have learned
The hard way, the hard way
(chorus)

Just because I’m young don’t you think
I haven’t seen many provocative things
In a world filled with war
And no sign of peace on the shore
Well I’ve see unfamiliar faces
And very very unfamiliar places
I’ve seen hell, I’ve seen hell
(verse two)

(Repeat chorus x1)

Don’t come around here judging me
Its something I take very seriously
If you’ve got something negative to say
Keep your mouth shut, its best that way
And I live my own life and I get by
And even if I’m flying high
I can make my decisions singly
So don’t you dare try to put a label on me

(Repeat chorus x1)
Track Name: The Supermodel Song
I date a supermodel and I love her a lot
And when she dances naked don’t you know it’s hot
I mad a million dollars, now I’m a superstar
No more trying to play and sing in run down bars
I drive a range rover hell I drive ten cars
I bought my dad a house in Hollywood amongst the stars
I’ve got enough money I could fly to mars
And if I paid em enough Russia would bring back the czar
But…

That’s only in my mind, only in my dreams
I’m just trying to make my dreams become reality

Don’t you know now I got it made
Everywhere I turn I get laid
I sit around on my ass all day
Spending millions of dollars that I get paid
And in my hometown there’s a Jeremy Tolin day
And everybody takes off cause it’s the best holiday
I think I’ll have myself a parade
And if I get lucky the cops won’t come and do a raid
But…

That’s only in my mind, only in my dreams
I’m just trying to make my dreams become reality

I sing on stage under big bright lights
And I’m headed to a new town almost every night
I got bodyguards if you want to pick a fight
And I’m living it up and living it right
I’ve got my name and face all around the word
I even got a cameo on my name is Earl
I’ve got sold out shows with too much blow
And too much love from too many ho’s
But…

That’s only in my mind, only in my dreams
I’m just trying to make my dreams become reality