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A Smiling Face In A Broken Society

by Jeremy Tolin

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1.
She said have you been doing ok I said no, not today Well I’m five hundred miles from happiness But the gas makes it hard not to stay She said I’ve heard you’ve felt a lot of pain And you feel like you’ve got nothing left to gain And everything you pride yourself in is slipping away I said I’ve already been to hell And the devil stole my soul And he auctioned it off for sale But I’ve never felt the pain Not with cocaine running through my vains And ain’t it a shame, Ain’t it a shame How nothing ever changes for the better For the better, for me And ain’t it a shame, Ain’t it a shame How nothing ever changes for the better For the better, for me She said maybe your too negative I said maybe girl your just dumb Cause you ain’t never fell far enough down To know where I’m picking myself up from Maybe I’m crazy maybe insane maybe over the edge But I’m only twenty and I’m too young Too have already done all this shit And ain’t it a shame, Ain’t it a shame How nothing ever changes for the better For the better, for me And ain’t it a shame, Ain’t it a shame How nothing ever changes for the better For the better, for me
2.
Bad Habits 03:58
She said you seem messed up all the time And you seem, like you’ve lost your mind And you just don’t seem the same anymore She said you walk around with big red eyes You look like the devil in the sky And your choices don’t seem very wise Why do you make’em And I said well I drink because I like it And I smoke because I want to And I bet you didn’t know every night I get geeked up till five I take the pills to make happy, when I’m feeling sad And I do it all at once, when I’m feeling bad And all she could say…was me to babe They say when I die the good Lord’s gonna take my soul away But its strange and odd how nothing ever happens when I pray Whats the point in the Savior when I use chemicals anyway But you can still find me in the Church leading praise songs every Sunday And I said well I drink because I like it And I smoke because I want to And I bet you didn’t know every night I get geeked up till five I take the pills to make happy, when I’m feeling sad And I do it all at once, when I’m feeling bad And all she could say…was me to babe Me to babe
3.
Well I sit in an empty room as my vision it starts to blur They tell me to smile and be happy but the thought just seems absurd And it seems like I find a problem with every page I turn And I’ve lost the fear that when I die, there’s a chance that I might burn But I know a girl who knows how to cast a charming spell And as much as I would like to love her well well she drives my nerves to hell And I was raised in the Church once the house of God now It’s the house for the insane She slept with seven guys she’s a whore and my daddy says she’ll never be saved My family and so-called religious friends you know we all just act the same Baptized under the Holy water, but nobody changed And it’s a sad sad world when the wicked and the good Well we all just dress the same And everybody tells me this path that I’ve chosen, well ain’t it such a shame I know a girl who knows how to cast a charming spell And as much as I would like to love her well well she drives my nerves to hell And I was raised in the Church once the house of God now It’s the house for the insane She slept with seven guys she’s a whore and my daddy says she’ll never be saved
4.
Do you recall, the time you took that fall Drinking that red wine And every time somebody asked I’d make sure they knew They knew that you were mine When you grow old and your hair turns grey Will you remember me, will I fade away Well I hope we’re still together then Walking in the streets going out to eat and they turn and say Don’t they look so sweet That’s how I want to be And even if I get Alzheimer’s There’s one thing I won’t forget I won’t forget how much I love you That’s one thing I can do Do you recall the time I drove all night Just to see your face And I’d do it all again Except for the fact You’re a thousand miles From the places that I’ve been When you grow old and your hair turns grey Will you remember me, will I fade away Well I hope we’re still together then Walking in the streets going out to eat and they turn and say Don’t they look so sweet That’s how I want to be And even if I get Alzheimer’s There’s one thing I won’t forget I won’t forget how much I love you That’s one thing I can do I’ll always love you…
5.
Where the ocean meets the sand And the world looks so grand And I tell you how I want to be In a famous rock and roll band I wanna be like the Rolling Stones I wanna be like Jim Morrison I wanna be like The Beatles, McCartney Lennon Writing those pop songs for a living Make the people smile Keep them happy for a little while And the listen like poetry Flowing through my lips and they say I’m a genius That’s how I want to be remembered yeah How I want to be How I want to be remembered yeah I had a dream I was standing on a stage With the lights shining bright in my eyes And the crowd sang along to the words Along to the words of my songs all night And that’s the way I want to be The way I want to be someday And I wanna be like the Rolling Stones I wanna be like Jim Morrison I wanna be like The Beatles, McCartney Lennon Writing those pop songs for a living Make the people smile Keep them happy for a little while And they listen like poetry Flowing through my lips and they say I’m a genius That’s how I want to be remembered yeah How I want to be How I want to be remembered yeah
6.
I Give Up 03:28
I just took the bullets out of my forty-five I’m taking this bottle and having myself a nice long drive Behind these smile I got a whole lot of pain to hide Your body’s stolen everything and you damn sure stole my pride And I would fall, but I’ve already fallen And I would call, but you won’t pick up I’m still in love, but I’ve convinced myself It’s about time I give up I gave everything I had, everything I gave to you Its not like I’m a rich man, like I had a whole lot of money to lose And I guess, I guess, I guess I just gave my heart to you And I guess I’m not what you expected not what Mom and Daddy wanted for you And I would fall, but I’ve already fallen And I would call, but you won’t pick up I’m still in love, but I’ve convinced myself It’s about time I give up And I would fall, but I’ve already fallen And I would call, but you won’t pick up I’m still in love, but I’ve convinced myself It’s about time I give up
7.
Koolaid Johnson was a hardworking man Making his money about the best damn way he can He never pointed fingers or started naming names He found failure well yeah he’s the only one to blame Cause that’s Koolaid Johnson That’s Koolaid Johnson And every night around midnight He’d jump on stage and play his harmonica loud He’d sing songs and man would he sing proud That’s about the only thing he knew how to do Cause that’s Koolaid Johnson That’s Koolaid Johnson Koolaid Johnson was a friend of a friend He’d have your back right down through the thick and thin When everyone turned away well he’d be there till the end He was a friend of a friend And that’s Koolaid Johnson Yeah that’s Koolaid Johnson And every night around midnight He’d jump on stage and play his harmonica loud He’d sing songs and man would he sing proud That’s about the only thing he knew how to do Cause that’s Koolaid Johnson That’s Koolaid Johnson
8.
If I had a dollar for every time I sinned I guess it would be like winning The lottery, time and time again I’ve stumbled on some roadblocks In my short time on earth I’ve hurt a lot of people Fell in some holes and climbed my way out Sometimes that’s what you’ve got to do You can’t always find success Sometimes it finds you You better believe what I’m saying Cause I know its true Lately people been saying “Hey your pretty good” Why aren’t you on the radio I said I would be if I could But with the terrible music they play these days Well I just might be too good Some people use guitars As an excuse to get laid Well I’m just trying to use mine as a reason to get paid And don’t you know, man that’d be great You can’t always find success Sometimes it finds you You better believe what I’m saying Cause I know its true
9.
Reputation 04:36
They said you could lose your mind but it’s too late And you’ve been walking through this life like your blind It’s a sad sad world when all you see, are seas of red And your alive but you feel dead, you feel dead (verse one) And I sit in a circle with all of my friends On a night that seems it will never end And we hang our heads in shame at the things we did And the things we put ourselves through They say a reputation is a hard thing to break Yeah the hell it is and I sure have learned The hard way, the hard way (chorus) Just because I’m young don’t you think I haven’t seen many provocative things In a world filled with war And no sign of peace on the shore Well I’ve see unfamiliar faces And very very unfamiliar places I’ve seen hell, I’ve seen hell (verse two) (Repeat chorus x1) Don’t come around here judging me Its something I take very seriously If you’ve got something negative to say Keep your mouth shut, its best that way And I live my own life and I get by And even if I’m flying high I can make my decisions singly So don’t you dare try to put a label on me (Repeat chorus x1)
10.
11.
I date a supermodel and I love her a lot And when she dances naked don’t you know it’s hot I mad a million dollars, now I’m a superstar No more trying to play and sing in run down bars I drive a range rover hell I drive ten cars I bought my dad a house in Hollywood amongst the stars I’ve got enough money I could fly to mars And if I paid em enough Russia would bring back the czar But… That’s only in my mind, only in my dreams I’m just trying to make my dreams become reality Don’t you know now I got it made Everywhere I turn I get laid I sit around on my ass all day Spending millions of dollars that I get paid And in my hometown there’s a Jeremy Tolin day And everybody takes off cause it’s the best holiday I think I’ll have myself a parade And if I get lucky the cops won’t come and do a raid But… That’s only in my mind, only in my dreams I’m just trying to make my dreams become reality I sing on stage under big bright lights And I’m headed to a new town almost every night I got bodyguards if you want to pick a fight And I’m living it up and living it right I’ve got my name and face all around the word I even got a cameo on my name is Earl I’ve got sold out shows with too much blow And too much love from too many ho’s But… That’s only in my mind, only in my dreams I’m just trying to make my dreams become reality

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released April 7, 2009

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Jeremy Tolin Florence, South Carolina

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